feeling like a cow & other aspects of breastfeeding...

I've been thinking a lot lately about how much longer I want to breastfeed... I am not sure what to do though. Here is my situation:

From the beginning, Evelyn has been a pretty easy baby to breastfeed -- no feeding issues, she knows how to latch on, I have a plentiful supply, etc... but it is a lot of work. Especially since I went back to work!

I find myself having to pump at least 2 times during my work day. Since I am a sales rep, I don't have an office (just my office at home) -- and I basically live in my vehicle from 9AM until at least 3-4PM (some days are longer than others). So that means being forced to pump in very strange places. Most days I end up pumping in the backseat of my Explorer. Not a huge problem -- the windows are tinted, and I also wear a fabric nursing cover so that even if someone could see in, they wouldn't see anything. Some days though I have other people riding along with me during the day. Take yesterday for example... I had my boss with me all day. Since he was in my vehicle all day, I was forced to pump in a supermarket restroom (where else was I going to stop and pump??) YUCK! Not exactly the cleanest place in the world. Not a real "feel-good" experience. I mean, not only do I feel like a cow being milked --- but I am a cow being milked while reading the graffiti on the stall walls, trying not to touch anything, etc..

And -- I am not the type of person who can nurse in public. A lot of people that breastfeed think it is convenient because they can nurse anywhere and don't have to worry about bottles, etc... Not me. I always carry a breastmilk bottle with me when we go out. Part of the problem is that I am self-conscious about doing it in public. Another reason is because Evelyn doesn't latch on and stay latched on. She is constantly moving around, looking around, etc. She doesn't like to be covered up by a nursing cover. She likes to be able to see me and look around. It would be almost impossible to do it privately. So, when we go out as a family -- we take a bottle with us and the breastpump.

So the inconvenience of pumping is one issue. Another issue I have is just the fact that my boobs are constantly changing sizes. At any point in the day they are completely blown up and porn-star-ish, completely empty and deflated, or somewhere in between. It doesn't make it easy to fit into clothing properly these days. Forget the cute tailored button down shirts that I used to wear to work... those are not even an option.

The other issue I am sick of is having to wear nursing bras. Especially since it is getting to be summer --- I don't want to be restricted to wearing these ugly bras and the nursing pads, too. Now that it is getting to be tank top season --- I want to be able to wear strapless bras and the other cute bras that have been tucked away for about the past year now.

But -- after saying all of this, I almost feel a bit selfish for wanting to quit breastfeeding. I know it is good for Evelyn, it is cheap (FREE) -- and it does allow for some extra bonding time. But that is really all the positive things that I can think of... Is that enough to keep doing it?

Any input is appreciated. I am really debating trying to wean her in the next month or so. I don't know...